What's Stephen Hawking's favorite meal?

His shoulder.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the best vegetable to bring to a party?

Stephen Hawking

What happens to Stephen Hawking when he stops laughing?

He writes scary stories.

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Why do Australians have a well balanced walk?

They've a chip on both shoulders

Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis?

She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!