What's a cats most common written thought?

Mmmnhhhhgcdddxxdtyyhhbvbbb

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What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

What do you call a cat who's joined the Red Cross?

A first-aid kit!

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How does a SQL expert get a date?

GetDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

How Did Norse Marsupials Write Their Sagas?

In Kangarunes.