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What's a good name for a cat?

Catsper.

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Why did the cat fall into the well?

Because he couldn't see that well.

What pets think about their owners?

A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God. A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.

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What is the best part about duct tape?

It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

Whats the best part about sleeping with a midget?

You're sure to get a little head