What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

This joke may have profanity.

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What is the linguistic description of sentences like 'ho ho ho' and 'Merry Christmas'?

They are both santa clauses.

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Quit being nosey.

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What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

1 US Leader.

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It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.

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When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

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They have a large following!

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Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker