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What's a schizophrenic's favorite Christmas song?

Do You Hear what I Hear?

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How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?

Elephanta Claus!

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Why did the snowman have his pants down?

Because he heard the snowblower was coming.

What is something that is always heard but never seen?

A member of the Queen's guard doing a single squat.