What's better than cheese?

A cheese grater

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What does cheese say when you take its picture?

Make sure you get my Gouda side!

What smells of cheese and is filled with holes?

About 100 French people right now

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What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up a cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read..........