What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids?

Fire.

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What's better: A Parachute Jump or a BJ of a 90 year old?

Doesn't matter... must not look down..

How's my hair?

My clothes How do I look (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy.

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Why was the mathematician fired?

Because he was sur to requirements.

How are Lindsay Lohan and the Note 7 alike?

The both leave your crotch on fire