What's your favorite preservative salt, vinegar, lemon?

Mine's embalming fluid.

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Lemon Jokes More Lemon Jokes

What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer?

Thtop taking the pith out of me!

How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson.

Vinegar Jokes More Vinegar Jokes

What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?

A sourpuss!

What's red like a strawberry, hard like beef jerky, smells like vinegar, and is found under your bed?

Me neither. Help.