Lemon Jokes

Where do lemons go to jail?

Lemonworth

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What do you call a lemon staring at an elderly lady?

Citric Flaccid

What do you call a Jamaican redditor?

Lemon

What do quantum physicists do when life gives them lemons?

Everything

What does a walrus and Tupperware have in common?

They both like a tight seal *What looks like a lemon and shaped like a rock?.. A lemon shaped rock *What is brown and sticky?..A brown stick

Why did the lemon go sour?

Because it had Lemon-Aids

What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer?

Thtop taking the pith out of me!

How are synagogues like lemons?

They're full of acidic juice.

How do you help a lemon?

Lemon-aid.

What do you get when you cross a Triceratops and a lemon?

A. A Dino-sour 2.Q. Were do robots go to worship A. Mech-a

Why do emo's always act so sour?

Because you can't spell Lemon without emo.

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What do you call it when a lemon jerks off her own brother until he chafes?

Inzest

How did Sherlock reply to Watson's inquiry, "Sherlock, where did you get all of these lemons?

A lemon tree, my dear Watson.

Where did you get so many lemons?

Holmes replies, "A lemon tree, Watson.."

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr?

Because it has cis-trust issues

Why did the lemon turn green?

Because he had lime disease

What's your favorite preservative salt, vinegar, lemon?

Mine's embalming fluid.

What did the dyslexic man do when life gave him lemons?

He made melon-ade

Why are crocodiles brown and flat?

Because if they were yellow and round, they'd be lemons.

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

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Lemonaid Jokes More Lemonaid Jokes

What happened when the Orange slept with the skanky Lemon?

He got Lemonaids.

What do you give to a lemon in need?

Lemonaid.

Tupperware Jokes More Tupperware Jokes

What does a walrus have in common with tupperware?

They both like a tight seal

Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party?

To find a tight seal

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why didn't the lesbian cross the road?

She didn't have the balls to do it

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know if someone is Puerto Rican?

They tell you.

How do you know when a blond is having a bad day?

Because a tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Beverage Jokes More Beverage Jokes

What beverage should you give someone who is publicly intoxicated?

Penal tea edit: to someone

What does Batman take in his beverages?

Just...ice.

A. Jokes More A. Jokes

What do Fred Flintstone and Osama Bin Laden have in common?

A. They both look out their caves and see rubble.

How do you know a blonde has been using the computer?

A. There is cheese in front of the mouse.

Lisp Jokes More Lisp Jokes

What do you call a kid with an eye patch, braces and a lisp?

Names

What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer?

Thtop taking the pith out of me!

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?

A dinosnore!

What is it called when you sleep talk about your subconscious feelings?

A Freudian Sleep.