Lisp Jokes

What do you call the man with a lisp who drowned?

A philosopher. Cuz he's a deep thinker.

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What do you call a kid with an eye patch, braces and a lisp?

Names

What did a lemon with a lisp say to the juicer?

Thtop taking the pith out of me!

What does a white girl with a lisp say?

Yaaathh

What's long green and goes hith?

A snake with a lisp!

What did the clam with a lisp say to his greedy friend?

You're so shelfish!

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Brace Jokes More Brace Jokes

What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?

He braces himself

What does a spider want to be when he grows up?

This is really good guys...brace yourselves..........) A web designer.

Traitor Jokes More Traitor Jokes

Why did the traitor wear two watches?

Because he's a two timer.

What is a traitor?

A tray shaped dinosaur. Credits go to the wife for that one! She still giggles when she tells it.

Clam Jokes More Clam Jokes

Why didn't the clam share his ipod?

He was shellfish.

What does a clam do on his birthday?

He shellabrates!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you say when the Batmobile drives by?

Na na na na na na na na BAT MAN What do you say when a stolen Batmobile drives by? Na na na na na na na na BLACK MAN

What was the deaf mans favorite song?

The Sound of Silence.

Philosopher Jokes More Philosopher Jokes

What does an insomniac, philosopher, atheist, dyslexic do at night?

Lay awake, contemplating the existence of Dog.

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Snake Jokes More Snake Jokes

What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed?

Sleep in the wardrobe!

What is the difference between an apple and an orange?

None, the two are not a snake

Lemon Jokes More Lemon Jokes

Whoa that's a lemon, how much did you pay?

Only $3,200" Dude it's literally a piece of fruit "Damn....not again"

What do you call a Jamaican redditor?

Lemon

Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

Why did the man drowning in the river think he wasn't going to die?

He was in de-Nile.

Why was little Jimmy fishing in the well?

Because Tom had previously drowned in the well and everyone said "Tom is sleeping with the fishes."