When is your birthday?

17th January. What year Every year!

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What are the 5 most terrifying word in the English language?

Five more years of Cameron

Why did a man's pet vulture not make a sound for five years?

It was stuffed.

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What do you say to Aziz Ansari when you forget his birthday?

Aziz, I'm sorry.

What's the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?

Get married on his birthday.