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Where do you buy a baby?

Hole Foods.

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Where does Dracula buy his pencils?

Pennsylvania.

How do you order a bill in Australian restaurant?

Cheque, mate! --- Maybe not the funniest buy posting because: My. My own. My precious...

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How do you put a baby to sleep?

You rock them. What if it doesn't work? Use a bigger rock.

Why was the baby put in jail?

For resisting a rest. I'll take my coat