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Which chemical compound are you most likely to find at a frat party?

Hydrogen mide.

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How are a hobo and a balloon alike?

Both are without visible means of support. (My son found that in a children's joke book)

Where do you find an old Onion article?

In thier archives.

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What did water say when it found out hydrogen is a diatomic?

H2 Oh!

Why did Hydrogen hurt Iron?

Because he wanted to see him Sulfur.