How did Captain Hook die?

Jock itch.

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Why are ghosts always just moaning?

Did your manners die too Use your words!

What do you with a dying chemist?

Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium, all you can do is barium!

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How does captain hook cook pita bread?

With a pita pan.

What is Captain Hook's favorite kind of humor?

Dead Pan.

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How did Captain Hook die?

Jock itch.