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Who are you?

You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?

So he could break out.

Whats the last thing you want to see when youre shagging the wife?

The husband.

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What did the double hand amputee get for Christmas?

I don't know, he hasn't managed to open it yet.

How would you feel if I die?

Husband: I will go mad with grief. Wife (a bit glad): You wouldn't remarry, would you Husband: You never know. A mad man can do anything!

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Who is the only man to record more knock outs than Mike Tyson?

Bill Cosby

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.