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Who is saved?

America

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Why is it worse this time around?

Thermal cameras mean I can't save anyone by hiding them in my roof.

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

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Why does Martin Luther King like jam?

Because God bless America

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."