Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

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Asphalt Jokes More Asphalt Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

What do you get when you cross Cleopatra with Marc Antony?

Pharaoh-moans.