Asphalt Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

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Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

Why was Cleopatra angry?

She was on her pyramid. Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

Why was Marc Antony still interested in Cleopatra even when she's just had a baby?

Because it was delivered via Ceasarion section

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

Why did the bike fall over?

It was too tired

Why should you never run over a black kid on a bike?

Because it's probably your bike...

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

How do you tell which plumber went home for lunch?

He's the one with the clean finger.

What vegetable needs a plumber?

A leek.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What's the difference between a wealthy man wearing a tux and riding a bike and a hobo in torn jeans and shirt riding a unicycle?

Attire.

Why was Lisa not able to ride a bike?

She was a cat.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What does a flame smell like?

Burnt nose hair.

What's burnt to a crisp and at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking after a house fire.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What is every blonde's ambition in life?

To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

They're stuck at C for years

Hard Thing Jokes More Hard Thing Jokes

What is the hardest thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it. I'm going to hell..

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?

The ground!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many French eggs do you need?

One egg is un oeuf.

How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb?

Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her.