Asphalt Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

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Hard Thing Jokes More Hard Thing Jokes

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

What's the hardest thing on a cowboy?

The 4th grade.

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

What do you get when you cross Cleopatra with Marc Antony?

Pharaoh-moans.

Why was Cleopatra angry?

She was on her pyramid. Stolen from Whose Line Is It Anyway.

Cul De Sac Jokes More Cul De Sac Jokes

What do you call it when your balls are in the street?

It's Cul de sac!

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

What do you call an elderly nun riding a scooter?

Virgin Mobile.

Why shouldn't you take your clothes off while riding the elevator?

It could get you an in descent exposure charge.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

Why did Yoda need a stepladder in the chocolate shop?

Because he was reaching for a galaxy far, far away.

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

Why did a Chinese man ride a bike to the brothel?

To get laid.

Why did the black boy fall off his bike?

He didn't. He fell off your bike.

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

How do you crack a joke on r/Jokes?

Ctrl+v.