Asphalt Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

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Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

Why don't plumbers ride bikes?

Because they'd get arrested for peddling crack

What does an Australian witch ride on?

A broomerang!

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

What did Octavian say when he stormed Cleopatra's gardens?

Caesar salad

Why was Marc Antony still interested in Cleopatra even when she's just had a baby?

Because it was delivered via Ceasarion section

Hard Thing Jokes More Hard Thing Jokes

What's the hardest thing about being a vegan crossfitter who went to Harvard?

Figuring out what to tell you about first.

What's the hardest thing about skydiving?

The Ground

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why was 'EE' acting so funny?

He needed to 'P'

How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

Cul De Sac Jokes More Cul De Sac Jokes

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

What did the black kid get for Christmas?

My bike

Why can't Jimmy ride his bike?

Because he has no limbs Kinda dark, I know. It's just for those out there who would chuckle at this. ;D

Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

What do a plumber and a walrus both enjoy?

A nice tight seal

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman?

She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.

How do you tell if someone's balls are sensitive?

Give them a test-tickle