Asphalt Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

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Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

Which is the toughest tree?

A Christmas Tree because it has the most balls

What does Bill Cosby have in common with a Pokemon trainer?

He makes sure his catch is weak before he throws his balls at them.

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride a bike?

Why did the blonde run with the bike?

It was going too fast for her to get on.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?

It didn't want to get stuck in any cracks.

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Ride Jokes More Ride Jokes

Why kind of motorcycles do cows ride?

Mooooootorcycles!

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea?

Because he didn't wait for it to be cool.

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

Why was Marc Antony still interested in Cleopatra even when she's just had a baby?

Because it was delivered via Ceasarion section

What did Caesar say to Cleopatra?

Toga-ether we can rule the world!

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Why do we need to be learned English?

Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke

What's accounting?

Something Italians learn in preschool.

Cul De Sac Jokes More Cul De Sac Jokes

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

What do you call it when your balls are in the street?

It's Cul de sac!