Asphalt Jokes

What's the road construction worker's equivalent of a plumbers crack?

An asphalt

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bike?

The asphalt.

Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

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Plumber Jokes More Plumber Jokes

Why did you jump on a turtle?

Me: Because I'm a plumber

What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber?

The way they pronounce "unionized"

Bike Jokes More Bike Jokes

Why did the bike not go to the gym?

BECAUSE IT WAS TOO TIRED :D:D:D:D:D:D

Why do bikes have kick-stands?

Because they're two-tired.

Hard Thing Jokes More Hard Thing Jokes

What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?

The road.

What's the hardest thing on a cowboy?

The 4th grade.

Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

What does it mean if a dude looks down and sees four balls instead of two?

He needs to be very careful, because he may be getting screwed.

Why don't women wear skirts in San Fransisco?

Because their balls would show.

Cul De Sac Jokes More Cul De Sac Jokes

Why was the Boy having trouble finding power in the Cul-de-sac?

There was no outlet

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb.

Why did the hipster burn himself?

Because he played with fire before it was cool.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth?

A1: You need a quarter to use the phone.

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Cleopatra Jokes More Cleopatra Jokes

Who should of gotten asphalt?

Cleopatra.

What do you get when you cross Cleopatra with Marc Antony?

Pharaoh-moans.