Why are Australians so well balanced?

They have a chip on both shoulders.

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Shoulder Jokes More Shoulder Jokes

Why did Freud hurt his shoulder?

He made a Freudian slip

Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?

Short John Silver!

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

How does an Australian shave?

Rise up lights

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of chips and a duck with the flu?

One's a quick snack and the other's a sick quack!

What are a philosopher's favorite type of chips?

Plato Nachos