Why did the perv leave?

Because he came.

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What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

How was 9/11 an inside job?

If the planes came from the outside.

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What did the hippie say when you told him to leave your house?

Namaste

Why does Jesus always leave a door open for you?

Because he was born in a barn.

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Why did the perv leave?

Because he came.

Why do you have a copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your bathroom?

Perv! Me: Oh. No that's just for when I run out of toilet paper.