Why didn't the tree like to play checkers?

Because it was a chesnut tree.

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What do you call someone who likes speed?

Racist.

What do you call a spider that likes 80s music?

A Durantula.

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What is the difference between an Irish drinking song and a Country drinking song?

You don't cry in your beer when the Irish song is playing.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

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How do you know when you are too drunk to drive?

When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener..

What do Trees and Dogs have in common?

Bark.