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Why didn't the tree like to play checkers?

Because it was a chesnut tree.

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Why does Saturn have rings?

God really liked it so he put rings on it.

Who sang the song "my own worst enemy"?

Them: I think it's Lit Me: I mean I like the song but I wouldn't call it lit...

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What do Abraham Lincoln and Peyton Manning have in common?

Neither can finish a play.

Why don't the zebra and the lion like to play cards in the prairie?

CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY CHEETAHS!!!

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When is the month when the most trees fall?

Sep-timber

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.