Why do I need the life vest?

Me: If you have to ask, you might not need one.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a post box?

Well, if you don't know I'm definitely not asking you to mail this letter for me.

Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

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How many US Congressmen does it take to change a lightbulb?

Oh, please. Like they've ever changed anything that needed it.

What did the vowel say when it had to go to the bathroom?

I need to do a vowel movement!