Why does Bill Nye get sleepy after writing calligraphy?

Because of the Nye Quill.

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Why do liberals travel in threes?

One to read one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program

The rest of them will write Perl

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Why did Bill Nye crash his car?

Because inertia is a property of matter.

What would Bill Nye be called if he spoke to ghosts?

Bill Nye the Seance guy.