Why don't you wear snow boots?

Because they'll melt.

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What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

Why shouldn't you wear a watch on your belt?

It'd be a waste of time.

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Why do Americans hate sunlight?

Because it's yellow and settles on their land too. And it melts snow.

What did water say when ice farted?

Ice melt it.