Why is the Vice President always so self-obsessed?

Because he lives at the navel observatory

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Why is Santa Claus always so happy?

He knows where all the bad girls live

Where do the happy people of Baltimore live?

In a merry land.

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Why isn't the Vice President running for the Democratic Nomination this year?

He's Biden his time.

What happens when the President dies?

The Vice President takes over. What happens when the Vice President dies? The Speaker of the House takes over. What happens when the Speaker of the House dies? You go to Radio Shack and buy a new speaker.