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Why was everybody too afraid to go to the barber?

He committed barbercide.

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Commit Jokes More Commit Jokes

What crime was committed against the coffee?

He was mugged.

What happened to the thick yellow liquid that committed a crime?

It was taken into custardy.

Everybody Jokes More Everybody Jokes

What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?

Just flush it like everybody else does.

Which teachers make pupils feel good about themselves?

Maths teachers, they make everybody count.

Barber Jokes More Barber Jokes

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

How did the barber win the race?

He knew a short cut.