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Why was there a dyslexic stormtrooper?

Sith happens.

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What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

What happened to good old-fashion soap?

Is it too basic?

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Where do Sith lords go to shop?

The Darth Mall.

Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.