How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

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Why did Jesus drink wine at the last supper?

Because in 3 days, he would be a raisin

Where do police put their drinks?

Copholders

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What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.