Guarantee Jokes

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

I1

What does MSG stand for?

Mandarin Service Guaranteed.

Who is guaranteed to win?

Society.

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

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Edge Jokes More Edge Jokes

Why is that Bono still hasn't found what he's looking for?

Because he's always standing by The Edge.

Why is there echo every time Bono sings?

Because he's close to The Edge

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What does a dog do when it loses it's tail?

Goes to a retail store to find another one.

What is the fastest way to lose pounds?

Leave EU.

Society Jokes More Society Jokes

Who is guaranteed to win?

Society.

What do you call a lawmaker in a society ruled by horses that says one thing but does the opposite?

A hippocratic hypocrite.

Battleship Jokes More Battleship Jokes

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

I1

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why is it so cold at Christmas?

It's in Decembrrrrr.

What do you get when you cross Christmas and a Duck?

A Christmas-Quacker!

British People Jokes More British People Jokes

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

What organ do only British people have?

The Eng gland.

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

Whats the hardest part of cooking a potato?

Signing the legal guardian paperwork

How many controlled oposition does it take to change a light bulb?

None you know of. Since they signed a Non Disclosure Agreement to not talk about it.

Double Jokes More Double Jokes

Why are the best accountants twins from Prague?

Because they always double Czech their work!

What would I be if I doubled myself?

Meme