Guarantee Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

What does MSG stand for?

Mandarin Service Guaranteed.

Who is guaranteed to win?

Society.

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

You might also enjoy:

Good Place Jokes More Good Place Jokes

Where's the best place to store ice cream cones?

Conetainers

Where's a good place to get Italian food in the middle east?

Allah Garden.

Society Jokes More Society Jokes

How do introverts feel within society?

Removed

What's white on top and black on the bottom?

Society.

Scam Jokes More Scam Jokes

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

What do you call a room full of psychics?

A scam!

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does a Mexican cop say when he wishes you a Merry Christmas?

Police Navidad.

What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment?

A phantomime!

Computer Scientist Jokes More Computer Scientist Jokes

Why do Computer Scientists always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25!

Where do computer scientists go to have a drink?

To the foobar.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

How do churches stay so strong?

They pray on the weak.

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did Gandhi lose the race?

I guess he got his fasts mixed up.

How did the drunk Irish man lose 30$?

He bet 10$ on the soccer game and 20$ on the replay.

British People Jokes More British People Jokes

What do British people call concrete?

Arsephalt

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means