Guarantee Jokes

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

I1

What does MSG stand for?

Mandarin Service Guaranteed.

Who is guaranteed to win?

Society.

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

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White Christmas Jokes More White Christmas Jokes

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

Why do Mormon women stop having kids at 29?

Because 30 is too many!

What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

Reincarnation Jokes More Reincarnation Jokes

What do computers and reincarnation have in common?

Switching Users

What are Hindus' favorite flowers?

Reincarnations!

Computer Scientist Jokes More Computer Scientist Jokes

Where do computer scientists go to have a drink?

To the foobar.

How many computer scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who was the hide-and-seek champion of 2005?

Nobody knows, they haven't found him yet.

What man knows the way to a girl's heart more than any other?

A surgeon.

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why Did Superman Save a Burning Chemistry Lab?

He was trying to save Krypton

Why did you arrest that doctor?

Officer: He was trying to take someone's pulse.

Charlie Sheen Jokes More Charlie Sheen Jokes

What did Charlie Sheen say when he won the Tour de France?

Schwinning!

What's Charlie Sheens middle name?

Washingma Charlie Washingma Sheen

Satisfaction Jokes More Satisfaction Jokes

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back