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Guarantee Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes
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How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

Which space on a Battleship grid guarantees victory?

I1

What does MSG stand for?

Mandarin Service Guaranteed.

Who is guaranteed to win?

Society.

What is the 100% guaranteed way to get younger looking skin?

Believe in reincarnation.

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

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Edge Jokes More Edge Jokes

Why did Microsoft name their new web browser "Edge"?

Because people familiar with the U2 guitarist of the same name are already used to long delays.

Why is there echo every time Bono sings?

Because he's close to The Edge

Msg Jokes More Msg Jokes

What a Chinese Restaurant Owner's Preferred License Plate?

888 MSG

What does MSG stand for?

Mandarin Service Guaranteed.

Satisfaction Jokes More Satisfaction Jokes

What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

Scam Jokes More Scam Jokes

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

What do you call a room full of psychics?

A scam!

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

Who pushed the neonate out an endometrium?

Your mom.

What do you get when you push a piano out of the second floor window of an elementary school?

A flat minor.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why did the man's kidneys fail?

They didn't study.

What did the man say to his wife when he failed to get an erection?

No hard feelings.

Computer Scientist Jokes More Computer Scientist Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

British Jokes More British Jokes

What does a British midget get when he is told he is going to be crucified?

He gets a little cross.

What do you call a British guy who throws a spear through the knee?

Britney Spears