Computer Scientist Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

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Where do computer scientists go to have a drink?

To the foobar.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Why do Computer Scientists always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25!

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

How many computer scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem

Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do poor people drink?

Pover-tea.

Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?

Because she was drinking on the job.

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

How can you tell if someone loves bacon?

Don't worry, they'll tell you that stupid vegan joke.

Why did the chicken run across the road?

She was worried the egg would get there first.

Bad Case Jokes More Bad Case Jokes

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It is when the blind try to read your face

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

How can you tell someone hates vegans, cross fitters, and atheists?

Don't worry, they'll repost a joke about it.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the 7 dwarfs and a girl's high school track team?

The 7 dwarfs are a bunch of cunning runts...

What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why does Peter Parker have a shower in his apartment?

He can't get out of a bath.

Where does He-Man keep his towel?

BY THE SHOWER OF GREYSKULL!!! I wrote this joke today. Feel free to steal it.

25 Jokes More 25 Jokes

Why do engineers confuse Christmas and Halloween?

Because OCT 31= DEC 25

Why cant programmers tell the difference between Christmas and Thanksgiving?

Because oct 31 = dec 25

Pessimist Jokes More Pessimist Jokes

What is the difference between Russian Optimist Pessimist and Realist?

An Optimist learns German. A Pessimist learns Chinese. A Realist learns AK-47.

How many?

How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's probably screwed it too tight anyhow!