Computer Scientist Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

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Where do computer scientists go to have a drink?

To the foobar.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Why do Computer Scientists always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25!

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

How many computer scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem

Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

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Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom?

Don't worry baby, I'm sterile.

How can you spot a vegan in a crowded lunch hall?

Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why did the hipster fail chemistry?

He thought the bond was ironic.

Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal?

He ran his business on a skeleton crew.

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died?

Well I'll be damned!

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a kilo of Coke?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a kilo fall out of a window

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

Tiger Woods had a better driver!

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

Why did the eagle fly into the church?

It was a bird of pray

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis.

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Oct 31 Dec Jokes More Oct 31 Dec Jokes

Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

Bad Case Jokes More Bad Case Jokes

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!