Computer Scientist Jokes

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

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Where do computer scientists go to have a drink?

To the foobar.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Why do Computer Scientists always mix up Halloween and Christmas?

Because OCT 31 = DEC 25!

Why did the computer scientist die in the shower?

The shampoo bottle put him in an infinite loop.

How many computer scientists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem

Why do computer scientists get Halloween and Christmas confused?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

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Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What did the fruit say to the vegetable before dinner?

Lettuce, pray.

Who do Egyptians pray to when the public transportation breaks down?

Anubis.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

Why do you keep saying flail?

Because Fail isn't in my vocabulary. ------- Overheard on the train.

Why did the Buddhist photographer fail at taking pictures?

Bad cam'ra

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why doesn't anyone tell jokes about Jonestown?

The punchline is too long.

How is a bell obedient?

It sounds off only when it is told (tolled).

Dec Jokes More Dec Jokes

Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

Why do programmers celebrate Christmas on Halloween?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

What did the couch say to the armchair?

Don't worry, I pull out.

What do computer programmers and aged-care nurses have in common?

They both worry about the position of colons.

Pessimist Jokes More Pessimist Jokes

What's the difference between a optimist, a pessimist and a realist?

The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel. The pessimist sees nothing. And the realist sees the train.

Why are Werewolves such pessimists?

They refuse to look at the silver lining.

Atheist Jokes More Atheist Jokes

What do you get if you cross a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist?

Willing suspension of disbelief.

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

Aspire Jokes More Aspire Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a computer scientist and an aspiring music artist?

Ask them what 'unsigned' means.

How many aspiring actresses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know - normally they screw in the casting director's hot tub