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What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

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Satisfaction Jokes More Satisfaction Jokes

What is Stephen Hawking's favourite song?

Satisfaction

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

What color are apples?

BOBO THE GORILLA: (signing) Please free me from this prison ME: (writing) Still struggling with colors

What are the rules about Canadians?

Does everybody get one Do I get to choose Where do I sign up

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

Egyptian Jokes More Egyptian Jokes

What do you call an Egyptian sun god with a Colombian accent?

ShakiRA

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

Double Jokes More Double Jokes

What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic?

He charges you double.

How can you double your money?

Look at it in a mirror.