Egyptian Jokes

What do you call an Egyptian sun god with a Colombian accent?

ShakiRA

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What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant?

THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was really a mummy.

What does Egyptian airport security have in common with Los Angeles airport security?

Both have LAX security.

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?

ANKH ANKH!!

Why did Baby Moses believe he was Egyptian?

Because he was in da Nile.

What do you call a fart from an Egyptian stranger?

Toot uncommon

Why was the Ancient Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was a mummy

What do you call a rare Egyptian King?

King Nottocommon

Why did the Egyptian spit out his water?

Because it came from the Suez.

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How do you enter an Egyptian's tomb?

Tut-an-kham-en

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer?

In denial.

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

What do you call an inexperienced Egyptian God?

Anoobis

Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter?

Cairo-practor.

How many governments does it take to make an Egyptian happy?

I'll let you know when I find out...

What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic?

Toot and Car Man.

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Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends?

They've got a "toot in common."

What do you call an Egyptian back-doctor?

A Cairo-practor.

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

Hey we have a toot in common.

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

How did the Egyptian go broke?

He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.

What Egyptian King called for equal farting rights for all?

Toot-in-common

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?

Because he was stuck in denial.

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What do you call an Egyptian sun god with a Colombian accent?

ShakiRA

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What do you call a jellyfish on a plane?

A flightoplankton.

How do you know that a plane from the UK has landed?

An hour after its landed its still whining.

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Why is I such a controlling letter?

Because I said so.

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

I am Root.

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Why does Shakira have such a hard time sleeping at night?

Because her hips won't lie.

What would shakira be singing if she had been data scientist?

Tsamina mina eh eh... "Weka Weka" eh eh...

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Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-Nile.

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

How do you confuse a fish?

You put it in a bowl and tell it go to a corner!

Why are frogs no good at websurfing?

Computers have them toad-ily confused.

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What kind of dog can jump higher than a building?

Any kind, buildings can't jump.

How do you build a flea circus?

You have to start from scratch.

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Where will you find the most powerful man in Los Angeles?

Watts.

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the French feminine definite article"