Egyptian Jokes

What do you call an Egyptian sun god with a Colombian accent?

ShakiRA

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

$19.99

What did the ancient Egyptian cheerleader chant?

THERE IS ONE GOD, HE IS THE SUN GOD! RA! RA! RA!

What do you say when you get swindled by an Egyptian tour guide?

Egypt me!

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was really a mummy.

What does Egyptian airport security have in common with Los Angeles airport security?

Both have LAX security.

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?

Gorillas in the mist

What did the Egyptian Pharaoh do when he got caught in traffic?

ANKH ANKH!!

Where do Old Egyptian people go to Swim?

The Senile River

Why did Baby Moses believe he was Egyptian?

Because he was in da Nile.

What do you call a fart from an Egyptian stranger?

Toot uncommon

Couple's Daily Question Mug

$19.99

Why was the Ancient Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was a mummy

What do you call a rare Egyptian King?

King Nottocommon

Why did the Egyptian spit out his water?

Because it came from the Suez.

How do you enter an Egyptian's tomb?

Tut-an-kham-en

Why was the Egyptian queen so grumpy?

Because, she was on her pyramid!

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Where would you find an Egyptian psychopathic swimmer?

In denial.

Why were the locals dissapointed when an old, decrepit, broken down bus rolled into an Egyptian town?

They wished it was Anubis.

What do you call an inexperienced Egyptian God?

Anoobis

Why did the Egyptian kid in therapy?

Because he thought his daddy was his mummy.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Because their daddies were mummies.

What do you call an Egyptian bone-setter?

Cairo-practor.

How many governments does it take to make an Egyptian happy?

I'll let you know when I find out...

What do you get if you cross an Egyptian mummy with a car mechanic?

Toot and Car Man.

Why are Egyptian saxophonists all such good friends?

They've got a "toot in common."

What do you call an Egyptian back-doctor?

A Cairo-practor.

Why was the Egyptian kid confused?

Because his daddy was a mummy

What did one Egyptian say to the other Egyptian after they both farted?

Hey we have a toot in common.

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

How did the Egyptian go broke?

He got caught up in a pyramid scheme.

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.

What Egyptian King called for equal farting rights for all?

Toot-in-common

What did the sign in the Egyptian funeral home say?

Satisfaction guaranteed or double your mummy back

Why couldn't the Egyptian fisherman get over the fact that his boat had sunk?

Because he was stuck in denial.

You might also enjoy:

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What do you call 100 black people on a plane to Africa?

A good start.

How far can this plane go with just one engine?

All the way to the crash site!

Nile Jokes More Nile Jokes

Who is the richest person in the Bible?

The Pharao's daughter. She went to the bank of the Nile to pick up a little prophet.

Why did the man drowning in the Nile River think he wasn't going to die?

Because he was in de-Nile.

Pray Jokes More Pray Jokes

What does Axl Rose do before he prays?

Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES! KNEES!

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Muscle Jokes More Muscle Jokes

What muscle is most responsible for lateral rotation of the neck?

The gluteus maximus

How was the bear able to move in order to get honey?

It had muscles.

Pyramid Jokes More Pyramid Jokes

How did the grave robber perish when he became trapped in a pyramid?

He died of asphinxiation!

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.

Bathtub Jokes More Bathtub Jokes

What do you call three Egyptian women in a bathtub?

Gorillas in the mist

What's the difference between a woman kneeling in prayer and a woman kneeling in a bathtub?

A woman kneeling in prayer has hope in her soul.

Ancient Egyptians Jokes More Ancient Egyptians Jokes

How do you know ancient Egyptians loved books so much?

Because they built their stuff with reads!

Why Couldn't the Ancient Egyptians Build a Plane?

Because, it wasn't very Pharoah-dynamic.

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins?

She couldn't figure out who the other mother was.

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

His daddy was really a mummy.