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What does a clock do when it's hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

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Second Jokes More Second Jokes

How many seconds are there in a year?

Twelve

What did Michael Phelps say after the Mens 200m?

I would've gotten second if it weren't for you medaling kids.

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

How do you set a woman's watch?

You don't, there's already a clock on the stove.

Why did the boy carry a clock and a bird on Halloween?

It was for 'tick or tweet'!