How can you tell someone's an atheist?

You can't. They'll always tell you first.

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Why did the lady stare at the orange juice?

Because she thought it was telling her to concentrate!

How do you make an idiot easily wait?

I tell you tomorrow.

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How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.