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How did God get Mary pregnant?

He used the holy immaculate contraception

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the internet pirate get scurvy?

He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore.

Where are the colored printers?

I said "Dude... it's 2014, you can use whichever printer you want"

God Jokes More God Jokes

What do you call the god of cheese?

Cheesus

What's the difference between a statesman and a politician?

A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman.

Mary Jokes More Mary Jokes

What is Mary short for?

She has no legs

Where did Mary go after the explosion?

Everywhere.