Mary Jokes

What did God say to Mary after impregnating her?

Praise the Load

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Who is the most successful liar in the world?

Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions.

Why did Mary fell from the swing?

Because she hasn't got arms!

Where did Mary go after the explosion?

Everywhere.

Where did Mary go when the bombs went off?

Everywhere.

What's Mary short for?

She's got no legs.

Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

What is Mary short for?

She has no legs

What is Mary and Joesph's Favorite Snack?

Jeez-its

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 4.2 kg?

Cause thay had a weigh in the mangor.

Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate?

He kept trying to plunder her booty.

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What about that rad drum?

Little Drummer Boy: No Mary: Get out

Where did Mary go during the bombing?

Everywhere

Why did Mary fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms. Knock, knock! (Who's there) Well, it ain't Mary.

Whatever's the matter?

Asked her mother. 'I don't know' replied Mary 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

What is the network admin favourite lullaby?

Mary had a little LAN

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

What would you do if a bull charged you?

Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.

How did Mary fall off the swing?

She had no arms

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Whoa, cool. Where did you get him?

The parrot says, "Africa! There are loads of them running around!"

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World Jokes More World Jokes

What does the new socialist leader of France mean for the country, Europe, and the world?

Nationalized wine.. Sounds like the right wing will have some whine too.

What would you do if the world blew up?

Go to Coles new world.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Who do people hate and love but is really hot and goes to beach everyday?

Sun of a beach

What music you into?

Date: I love hip hop Me: Yeah me too thinking of something to say to impress her Me: Soup Dogg is my cousin

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What Counting system does Valve use?

Trinary

What's the difference between a potato and a vegetable...?

Not knowing how to use a coathanger...

Crust Jokes More Crust Jokes

What's the similarity between a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist?

They both work with crust.

What did the apple say to the apple pie?

You've got some crust.

Roamin Jokes More Roamin Jokes

What do you call a nun that sleep-walks?

A) A Roamin' Catholic b) An unconscious habit

What do you call a number that can't keep still?

A roamin' numeral.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?

The collie wobbles!

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station?

A Whale Way

Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you cal a man with no arms and no legs fighting with his cat?

Claude

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?

Bob.