Mary Jokes

Where did Mary go when the bombs went off?

Everywhere.

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Why did Mary and Joseph's WIFI get hacked?

Because Jesus WEPt.

What is Mary short for?

She has no legs

What is Mary and Joesph's Favorite Snack?

Jeez-its

How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus weighed 4.2 kg?

Cause they had a weigh in the manger.

What is the network admin favourite lullaby?

Mary had a little LAN

Who should you pray to if you don't want the airplane that you are on to get diverted?

Diversion Mary

What would you do if a bull charged you?

Mary: I'd pay whatever it charged.

How did Mary fall off the swing?

She had no arms

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Like Jokes More Like Jokes

How do you like going to school?

Son: The going bit is fine as is the coming home bit too but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!

Why do tomcats fight?

Because they like raising a stink!

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Who's there! Bernadette! Bernadette who?

Bernadette ate all my dinner and now I'm starving!

When asked which is more important looks or brains?

9 out of 10 zombies said "braaaaiiiiinnnnssss" number 10 ate the researcher.

Investigate Jokes More Investigate Jokes

What do Marie Curies Notebooks and a defected KGB agent have in common?

They both wont be investigated very closely.

Which detective investigates electrical crimes?

Sherlock Ohms That's why his partner is called Wattson...

Praise Jokes More Praise Jokes

Grandma Jokes More Grandma Jokes

Who is your Grandma's favorite politician?

Bernie Sandmaster Flash

What do you call your grandma on speed dial?

Instragram!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What will fall on the lawn first?

An autumn leaf or a Christmas catalogue

Why did little timmy fall off his bike?

Because someone threw a canoe at him!

Impregnate Jokes More Impregnate Jokes

Where do cows stay when they go on vacation?

In a moooo-tel.

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

Why did the atheist fail algebra?

He didn't believe in higher powers!

Where is the lost city of Atlantis?

Lantis. I can't believe nobody has thought to look there yet.