How did you get here?

He asked. And the new angel replied "Flu..."

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Why isn't there golf in the Paralympics?

Because it would be really awkward asking what their handicap was.

What did Oscar Pistorius say when his cellmate asked him how he ended up in prison?

I'm stumped.

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What about over there?

She said. "I can't," I replied, "It says between 1 and 9 only." "Well, why is that stopping you " "I'm 23."

Why do people walk by and say "Hi, how are you?

But they don't stop long enough for you to reply!

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What do you call a flying pig?

Swine flu

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu