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How did you get here?

He asked. And the new angel replied "Flu..."

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How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

What's the best/worst dirty joke you know?

In honor of the recent joke trends I ask you what is the dirtiest joke you know?

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How much for 2 children?

She replied, "$9.50." "Awesome!" I said. "Do I get to choose or is it a lucky dip "

How much for a drink?

The bartender replies, "For you No charge."

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What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

What do you call a pig with the flu?

A swine swine.