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How's life?

She asked. "Oh same as usual" he replied "boring."

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What did earth say to the other planets?

You guys have no life!

What begins with S, ends with X and will change your life?

Smallpox

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What did the couch surfing, yoga junkie say when his friend asked him to leave?

Namaste.

When I was 3 years old I looked at my nutsack and asked my Mom "Are these my brains?

Not yet," she replied

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Which doctor?

I replied "No, a medical one."

What's up, punk?

Nothing," he replied, "I've just never seen a man using hair rollers before."