How do you electrocute a blonde?

Tell her to demonstrate the proper usage of an electric chair.

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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."

What did the German physicist use to drink his beer?

Ein stein. - From Big Nate, as told by my kid.

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Why couldn't they execute the railway worker with the electric chair?

He was too good a conductor

Why did the robot get the electric chair?

Because he was charged with battery.

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Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded!

What were the yoga instructor's last words when he got electrocuted?

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmm...