How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts her sentence with, "A man once told me..."

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do we all marry?

Because romance is not the only element of life, we should also know horror, terror, suspense, irony, stupidity and tragedy of life!

What happens when a high school calls in a replacement teacher for a subject they know nothing about?

Ooops... wrong sub.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What, me? Lazy?

Don't get me started.

How does every racist joke start?

Looks over both shoulders....

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How does a man keep his youth?

By giving her money furs and diamonds.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pile of leafs?

Russel

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

How do you know if someone's an expert archer?

Put an apple on your head &amp stand still he'll Tell you.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why was the woman with no children so good at konami games?

She takes contraceptives.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts?

Annette.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

Where are you at?

Me: Before I tell you let's talk about ending sentences with prepositions.

Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life?

He had no leg to stand on.