How do you take care of a baby?

Hire a hitman

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Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell a pirate your secrets?

They ain't private ears. (I don't care if a six year old came to this first thirty years ago, it just came to me.)

Who took care of German army dogs after the war?

Veteran Aryans

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls?

There's only one you can unload with a pitchfork. Edit: Who said something about dead babies?

Why can't witches have babies?

Because their husbands have hollow-weenies.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why was Mac OS X hired as the prison guard?

Because he kept locking up.

What do you call hiring German engineers to work on your overseas project?

Krautsourcing

Hitman Jokes More Hitman Jokes

What is a Hitman's favorite Mathematical Field?

Trigger*nometry

Why do hitman always wear gloves?

Because theyre always wacking guys off....