Hitman Jokes

How do you take care of a baby?

Hire a hitman

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Why do hitman always wear gloves?

Because theyre always wacking guys off....

What is a Hitman's favorite Mathematical Field?

Trigger*nometry

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Glove Jokes More Glove Jokes

What kind of present did the armless boy get for Christmas?

Gloves. Jk he hasn't opened it yet!!

What makes an ideal present for a monster?

Five pairs of gloves one for each hand.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why doesn't Asia wear makeup?

Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!

Why did the black guy wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.

Hire Jokes More Hire Jokes

Why couldn't the giraffe get a job at the bank?

They weren't hiring.

What's your strongest weakness?

Candidate: ... *Realises stupid question & thinks of cover up M: It's a trick question. You're hired!

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

Why is wrestling stupid?

It's a bunch of guy's without pants fighting for a belt....

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, who hangs out in your pool?

Bob

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

Why didn't the Middle Eastern man go to jail?

Because hijab his wife, but nobody cared.

What's stronger, fifty watts of sound or fifty watts of light?

I don't care but would you please stop screaming, turning the lights on and off.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and a submarine?

I've never been in a submarine.

What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds?

A baby with a punctured lung