How long have you been waiting to use that joke?

He happily says, "Since 2009!"

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign?

It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation.

What do you get when you cross an ape with a calculator?

A Hairy Reasoner. (Andy Rooney used to enjoy this one)

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why shouldn't you tell a philosophy major a joke?

They don't find them Hume-erous.

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What's with the knives?

Wait, stop. Please stop!" - pumpkin

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.