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What are the level differences between nannies?

The A level nannies suggest leafy vegetables... But the B nannies force kale.

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What has 8 arms, is ominous looking and ink is its weapon of choice?

An octopus " "No Jeff, the answer is my wife's 4 divorce attorneys"

Why do the Irish always answer questions with another question?

He said, "do we now "

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Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank. (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious feel free to suggest a better wording!)

Which phone??

Person 1: Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2: Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1: So what about summers then? Person 2: Same, it freezes often as well

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What do you call a docks nanny?

An Au'Peir

What did the kid say to his nanny when she stubbed her toe while trying to catch him?

Nana boo boo