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What are we gonna do with all this extra cocaine?

The previous sentence has never been spoken in the history of earth

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Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What did one kangaroo say to the other kangaroo?

I don't know I don't speak kangaroo.

What language do lesbians speak?

Gaelic.

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

What do you get when you cross an oven with a car?

A hot rod. NOTE: When I was about 5, I thought this was the funniest joke on earth.

How do we know God is not a woman?

Because the Earth is not a sandwich!

History Jokes More History Jokes

Why will I go down in history?

I dunno, but I'll go down in math and chemistry too.

What do you call a snake that likes history?

A HISSStorian.