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What came before the Big Bang?

The Big Foreplay.

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What were you before you came to school boys and girls?

Asked the teacher hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out "Happy!"

What's the difference between my job and my boss's daughter?

I'm not coming into work today

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What religion still believes in the Big Bang?

X-post from /r/imgoingtohellforthis Islam

What is your favorite Brian Williams joke?

I was there during the big bang of the universe - Brian Williams