What date is it today?

2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Which US president is most responsible for unemployment in the US today?

Abraham Lincoln.

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

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Why should you date a girl who is good with her hands and plays soccer?

Because she's probably a keeper.

Why couldn't the banana get a date?

It didn't have a peel.

April Jokes More April Jokes

What do you call Al-Qaeda's April Fools prank?

A jihahahad!

How do you know when your BBQ is ready in Canada in April?

The snow on top of it has melted.

April Fool Jokes More April Fool Jokes

What do you call people who play April Fool's jokes?

Annoying.

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.