What date is it today?

2nd April. Ha!! April fool!

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What would Elvis Presley be doing if he were alive today?

Scratching at the inside of his coffin.

Why did the lollipop cross the road?

Cause it was stuck to the chicken. I heard that on the radio today. I LOLed.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

Why did the banana go out with the prune?

Because he couldn't find a date.

How does a SQL expert get a date?

GetDate() (I really hope this doesn't do well, so cheap, so stupid, just had to write it when I thought of it)

April Jokes More April Jokes

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?

That's when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

Why do Native Americans hate it when it rains in April?

Because it brings Mayflowers.

April Fool Jokes More April Fool Jokes

What did the victims of a month-delayed April Fool's prank feel?

Dismay.

What monster plays the most April Fool's jokes?

Prankenstein!