What did the masterbating Australian mortician do?

Cremate

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Cremate Jokes More Cremate Jokes

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

Why was John Lennon so ashy?

Because he was cremated

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

What do you call a thug Australian mammal?

A gang-aroo

What do Australian terrorists say before attacking?

Uluruakbar

Masterbate Jokes More Masterbate Jokes

What sound does a baby make when you put it in a microwave?

I don't know....I was too busy masterbating.

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.