Masterbate Jokes

What do you call a masterbating cow?

Beef stroganoff

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Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

How does a black woman know that she's pregnant?

The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons.

Why do women love the smell of babies so much?

Because 50% of the taste is in the smell.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

How do you ask someone if they're Vegan?

You don't need to, they'll tell you

Australian Jokes More Australian Jokes

Why do Australians always win 4D chess?

Double check, mate

How could I forget, mate?

At an Australian parliament meeting, two guys were shouting back and forth and one said: "I am a country member!" and the other said: "Oh, I remember!"

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

How do her parents punish Helen Keller?

By leaving the plunger in the toilet.

Why can't Helen Keller use an iPhone?

Because she's dead.

Xd Jokes More Xd Jokes

Why did the roman only smoke 490 blunts and not 500?

Because

What's the best way to receive down votes on reddit?

Wohahaha! That was funny!

Microwave Jokes More Microwave Jokes

Why was the surfer such a bad cook?

All he could handle was the microwave

What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand?

A microwave.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does a piano make when falling down a mine shaft?

A-flat minor.

What do you call the sound a ghost makes when he calls you?

A phone moan.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How can you help a starving cannibal?

Give them a hand!

Why can't the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's dead.