What did the poor composer say to his friend?

I am baroque, can you lend me some money?

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do coffee beans say to scare their friends?

Brew.

Why was the lobster upset?

Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What will you be using the money for?

Me: "A divorce lawyer."

What is the quickest way to double your money?

Fold it in half!

Lend Jokes More Lend Jokes

What did Mark Antony say to Van Gogh?

Lend me your ears

Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money?

They consider a million years ago to be Recent.